It’s always nervewracking when you as a single mother, feel like you’ve got everything under control…Until something comes up that leaves you scrambling for help and solutions. It’s times like these where I hate that I’m a single parent; where help from my parents is 3.5 hours away, a hurricane has closed many of the roads you’d normally use and other solutions aren’t 100% guaranteed, and so you’re left doing the ONE thing you struggle with doing- asking for help. Which I was able to do, and the crisis is now averted.
But still, I’m anxious. I hate that things have to be this way. It was a childcare issue I was dealing with, and finding reliable care for my daughter for those times she doesn’t have school or even a good before/after school program that ALSO provides transportation to/from her school (my biggest issue with finding care for her). If it wasn’t for my friend, I’d probably have to stay home from work, which puts added stress on my coworkers, and I hate letting those who depend on me down (even if there are others there that do what I do). I hate that I have to scramble to find care when she doesn’t have school, but I still have to work. I hate that I have to ask for special privileges because I’m a single parent.
It’s times like these (along with other instances) where I regret the decision to not put her up for adoption, where she’d have the chance to live a more stable life with 2 parents. Which, I know I wouldn’t be able to know for sure if it would always be that way, plus so many other things that would come up because of that (I should know, because I’m adopted myself). It’s times like these where I wish I had a partner to make it through times like these, to help calm my anxiety, and to turn to for support. I wish I had a partner to just go through life with, you know?
I was going to use the scripture from 1 Corinthians about God not giving us more than we could handle, but after reading some more realized that it doesn’t apply in this particular sitation. However, this scripture from Phillipians does!
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”
Philippians 4:6-7 MSG
Also, what I was going to say could better be said by a post I came across by Rev. Shawn Coons where he wrote, “It’s not that God won’t give you more than you can handle, but that God will help you handle all that you’ve been given (READ HERE!!).”
I find these reassuring because, despite everything that caused my anxiety, worry, and regret today, I know that God IS there for me and He will help me get through all of the trying times! Does it suck doing things by myself, and having to worry about things like this? Yes; but I believe times like these are teaching me that I need to depend on God and go to Christ in prayer when I need help WITHOUT BEING AFRAID TO DO SO. He is aware of what I need, and He has never let me down 💜
Also, I learned my lesson about being more prepared when times like this come up!! The search for extra childcare continues.
I am a work in progress 